Notes Floating Around

Well, running nose and sniffling. How the hell am I supposed to live and work in this city if for some reason I’m constantly sniffling and such stuff? Antihistamines of various configurations are being tried. ?

After hanging with Ka’rn in Melbourne, yeah, I am starting to see the “disease” that is “bipolar” as an evolution. Maybe it’s just growing up. Maybe it’s an evolution. When the three white horses visited me in my dreams in 2004. Signalling a time for something new. And here in 2007/2008. The next stage. Baby steps. To something beyond right and wrong. Where all the duality have no meaning. A wholeness. But where whole and half-filled have no meaning.

Well, California anyway — not to player-hate. More power to those that live and learn and just, do what they do. Why should I hate them? Hate the game, not the player. I don’t even know what the game is. So yeah, why hate the players? What is the game? What is the game behind the game? [As Public Enemy (?) said].

As a conflicting comment though, I think Animal Logic people are a bunch of arrogant bastards. Just the industry, just the nature of being the 200-person elite in a country that’s huge (Australia) with only a population of 20million people. But who is Animal Logic in 2007? In 2008? Who’s there? Who do I know? What the frack is my beef with them anyway? At least I’ll try by being honest about what is going on. Funny feelings. Envy and hatred. So random now though. Maybe it is slowly passing, and the ego is trying to grab at straws now to “live” when it is death.

Did San2 get a free MacBook from Ad’rw…?? Hmm. Update: It was just a off-the-books OffMac install.

So Happy Feet won an Oscar. And my aunt was so thrilled a few months ago after watching it, poor psycho that she is, at least she was happy for something. Maybe if she was told it was part-Australian-made she might not have wished for it to win an Oscar. So coming back to Animal Logic. A few weird experiences: 1999/2000 a guy I knew went to SigGraph and before that mingled with some AL people at some party in Sydney. He didn’t seem to get an “in”. In 2003/2004 in Sydney, my friend worked on BigBrother as a production assistant/ producer/ etc. He had some people come ’round for a party. I knew this friend from Year 12 in Brisbane, and basically, like a few others I met, very even-keeled guy. Calm waters, his intensity channelled somehow the right directions. A bit plain at times, but I respect his approach to life. Anyway, his party, there was this chubby 20-ish woman/girl(?) who turned up with her boyfriend, she was a compositor for AL. Then I can’t place when but at some intense PsyTrance party in Sydney (Deedrah spun/performed – pretty amazing!) I met some guy that was paid $100k a year for doing some algorithm-programming-3D stuff. But he was very very low key about it and partying with people well, earning much less than him. He was promoting or at least explaining the difference between real MDMA and pills cut with other stuff that you usually get. So… and what’s the deal with Nicole Kidman and her plastic surgery. So… Animal Logic. Life goes on. They beat Pixar at an Oscar. But Pixar and Disney, Apple and Steve Jobs and what not. Life goes on.

How do we define what is important? What is meaningful? What is success? What is drive, desire, happiness, fulfilment? But herein lies what I do… Try and grab everything in one big grasp. Like that party – what was going on? Deedrah, amazing work. The Animal Logic guy. A girl named Freya that shepherded us that night. A piquant (?) petite girl that DJ’ed with an intense goddess banner behind her. She reminded me of Elka. The wicca practitioners (female witches) that were looking out over the party. Their surprise with my possible overwhelming power as I danced and channelled something intense through to the dance floor. The deep spiritual realisations out of time and space. Funny…. So many things in just that night. And so many achievements, in so many different ways. Like how the hell did they close off the after-party venue so as to get a good clean distribution of pretty-damn-pure MDMA to everyone. What is the day-to-day of working in Animal Logic? What is the day to day of interacting with the world through the Internet, whatever city one is in. Ghost in the machine. The ghost is in all of us. The Holy Ghost? Hmm… Like after being so depressed and unhappy about not having a girlfriend, 2000-2004 the people I met, partied, was intimate with, all a bit of a blur. But happy moments here and there. When I am happy I can’t remember the sad times. That could be a good thing.

Well, trying to keep track of, let’s see, Office, BattlestarGalactica, Heroes, House, Lost. Haven’t really got into Casino Royale and Flushed Away. Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas — I can sorta see the story behind the haze but from some personal experiences with tripping for like a whole day ++ , a bit scary. It’s just the psych medications now. Heroes S01.Episode16 was pretty good. Anyways…

At the moment running as nvidia2008 on AppleInsider.com. Considering work at a local Mac dealership. Am I ready? We’ll see. Anyway, good anonymous channels here on this blog and on AppleInsider to write my online diary for 2007. (Yeah, I know, it’s not yet 2008). Also, BTW, all this is being viewed in Trebuchet. The only good thing to come out of Microsoft. Heh.

Course in Miracles – Up to Lesson 263.